When you're trying to conceive (ttc), it's hard to pinpoint what the most difficult part is. Keeping track of your ovulation, having sex every other day out of obligation, not wanting to get too hopeful every month, the disappoint you feel because you were sure this was the month...

 

But perhaps the most difficult thing is dealing with others. It's amazing how otherwise thoughtful people don't realize how hurtful their statements can me. Sentences like:

“When are you going to have kids?”

 

“Don't you want kids?”

And, if they learn that you're ttc they're full of advice. Some good, some bad, and all unsolicited.

“Try yoga.”

“Have sex less often.”

“Have sex more often.”

“Stop trying so hard and it will happen.”

“Why don't you adopt?”

 

“If you adopt, you'll end up pregnant.”

 

So, how do you deal with these comments? Well, I find screaming to be therapeutic, but I'm assuming you'll go with a more diplomatic or more quiet approach. So, first, smile. Then try one of these responses:

“That's between myself and my partner (and doctor).”

 

“Wow, I can't believe I haven't thought of that! I'm sure I'll be able to get pregnant now!”

 

“I'm sorry, my ovaries don't like to be talked about in public.”

 

“That question/statement lacks tact and common decency.”

 

Of course, sharing your infertility problems with close friends and family can be a wonderful experience. Not all of them will understand, but those closest to you will. Ask them to keep you in their thoughts. Explain to them when their questions are hurtful. Not only will they stop being insensitive with you, they'll know to not say those things to other people who are trying to conceive.